Bernie Blusters Over Midterm Elections

In recent remarks to Politico, self-proclaimed socialist Bernie Sanders declared that the GOP is in a position to take full control of the House “and quite possibly the Senate” as a result of the Democrats’ general inability to pass meaningful legislation or make any other achievements during Biden’s tenure as president thus far.

The outspoken, lifelong politician declared that Democrats will have to do far more than simply criticize the Republicans’ position on gun control, as well as abortion, in order to avoid a massive red wave that is increasingly anticipated in November’s upcoming midterm elections.

“[If Democrats] think they’re going to march to victory based on those issues … that is not correct,” Sanders proclaimed.

The socialist proceeded to declare that it is not really possible to succeed in an election with the equivalent of bumper sticker that asserts, “well, we can’t do much, but the other side is worse.”

Dodging serious, ongoing issues regarding gasoline prices, widespread inflation, and a rapidly cooling economy, Sanders advised for the Democrat Party to envision a program of even grander government spending, in line with the playbook of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, specifically with regards to the “Contract with America.”

However, Sanders envisions a vastly more progressive version of the contract, which will invariably entail massive government spending that will in turn further accelerate inflationary pressures that lawmakers themselves rarely suffer from.

“Say to the American people: Look, we don’t have the votes to do it right now,” Sanders declared, effectively repeating the same message as the aforementioned bumper sticker.

The socialist then proceeded to blame “corporate Democrats,” or Senators Joe Manchin and Krysten Sinema, for apparently daring to stall the Democrats’ overtly leftist agenda, which is primarily supported by AOC and her cadre.

“Two corporate Democrats … sabotaged [Biden’s agenda],” Sanders raged, “and it has been downhill ever since for the Democratic Party.”


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